thinkythink

Mad Motivation

I work on Tuesdays and Thursdays, as well as Friday mornings. My little one is at daycare on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and those are the days I usually work on blog posts, and other ongoing projects. This Tuesday I was visiting relatives in Philly, which I really needed to do as some of them are quite old. I was going to do some work while I was there, but there were just too many visits to be made in the limited time. The Thursday before, I ended up doing family stuff with a different part of my family, which was supposed to be mixed with work but there wasn't any time for more than an emergency email.
I think that I've gotten pretty good at going with the flow, knowing that I'll get more out of whatever I'm doing then, and knowing that fighting it is often counterproductive. But even as I did this, it made me mad that I wasn't getting any work done. I wanted to post. I wanted to work on some projects I'm busy with. But you know what? That's ok for two reasons:

1. Being mad means I want to do my work. That's a good thing. It means I like what I do, and it's important to me.

2. Being mad can focus and motivate me. I noticed that back when I was writing a master's thesis; I was balancing part-time work with the thesis, and after a while of not being able to get focused time on it, I'd get annoyed. That's when I could cast other things aside and get a bunch done.

I'm not saying that anger or frustration are healthy long-term strategies for focus, but they are reasonable as indicators that it's time to buckle down, and useful sometimes to get your mind on a certain task for a while. Do they work for you, or does focus backfire when you're mad about not having time to do something you want to do? Do have other seemingly odd strategies for focus and getting things done? Please share in the comments!

6 Ways to Quiet Your Hyper Mind

A lot of people talk to me about how their minds are flooded with fast thinking, and then want to know how to make it all just chill out up there. It's just tiring and there's too much going on. Here are some ideas:

1. Occupy your mind intensely.

2. Change your physical state.

3. Check in on your physical, mental, emotional states, and take care of them.

4. Drown out some of it.

5. Identify what's going on: your mind is a speeding flood of thoughts.

6. Watch the flood of thoughts like it is a river you're standing next to.

I'll elaborate in future posts. In the meantime, try these out. But don't worry or judge if they don't work; different things work at different times for different people.

Systems: Planning on Paper

Over at Productivity 501, I just read a post about why you should use paper to do your planning, instead of, or before, working on the computer.

If you've been reading my blog, you probably have figured out part of my response: some things work for some people, other things work for other people. At which point, I want to encourage people to think about whether planning on a piece of paper would work better for you.

I use a few different systems for my own planning. I write myself e-mails with lists of ideas to work on, and reminders for myself for the next day (or next few hours). I have a paper calendar, but I have used a pda in the past; both work depending on my situation.

When I used to use Outlook or another calendar program, I would in fact often print out the current and coming week, and sit and look at it. That would help me plan. I could write in blocks I would like to do certain kinds of projects, and notes to myself. I often recommend that people use paper printouts, or big wall calendars, to look at what I call the "shape of time."

When I sit down to work, if I have more than a couple of things (or sometimes just a couple of things) I want to get done that day or look at that day, I tend to write it on paper as well, sometimes a scrap with a list written large with a fat marker. The process does help me think, and help me get clear. It does feel like it uses a different way of thinking or a different part of my mind than typing does. And I can put all the infinite distraction of the computer aside while I plan. I agree with the post that planning is a different kind of process and I like to give it that space. Even if it's only a few minutes. 

And all I want to do in this post is suggest that you think about it and possibly try it. We get so wrapped up in how "useful" computers are, or just get used to using them, that it's easy to forget that pen and paper sometimes just work better. Even if you type the list up afterwards.

What works for you?

ipod for survival

By special request (Terry M.), more about how I use my iPod to survive. And before we even go there, let me point out that it doesn't need to be an ipod. Or even an mp3 player. You can use a portable cd player. They sell them pretty cheap even at some drugstores.

As I wrote about the other day, it can be super hard, or impossible, for me to concentrate with the wrong background noise.  The ipod is my buffer. It protects me from bombardment. When I'm out in public, or even in my house and there is noise from the neighbors, or staying with family and I can hear them from the bedroom, i need my own space. Noise when I am either trying to work, or trying to chill out, or collect myself, or reboot, is like someone hurling sharp objects at me. It hurts, physically. I can't filter it out (ADHD = lack of filters). I can't just kind of integrate it into the background. It is exhausting. And unlike what some people think about working, ie that you should have a quiet environment to work "without distraction," I need music to drown out distraction. That's important, since when I get distracted, it takes extra long for me to find my way back to focus.

At some point I gave up on listening to "good" music when I was listening for survival instead of artistic inspiration. Here's what I mean: I grew up in an intellectual culture, and have had a lot of friends who are artistic, musical, intellectual, and critical. I love having those people around me, and I love seeing what people can achieve. I love being introduced to new music and art and influences. But...when you assume that, for example, pop music is "bad" or "selling out" or "not interesting enough," you're limiting yourself in a different way. I had to learn to pick the right music to accomplish the right goal: to give me a buffer. To help me focus, or chill out, or regroup, or whatnot. If it's too interesting, that might distract me from what I'm doing- or might annoy me because there is too much to listen to. Awful as it sounds, my ipod helps me survive by creating a bit of personal "muzak." Not that I actually listen to muzak, though I occassionally appreciate Brian Eno's ambient music projects; but I'm creating that affect for myself. Throw out what is "good" or "creative." As is my coaching motto, go for what works.

"High IQ Is No Help for Those With ADHD...

..."researchers find." Link is here, and really the biggest thing I want to say about this, is thank goodness. Thank goodness that researchers are bothering to find out this fact, which may seem obvious to some of us. The fact they are finding is not so much that high IQ doesn't "help" but that high IQ doesn't mean someone doesn't have ADHD.

I sometimes find it surprising that we have to be told this. Maybe that's because in my training as an ADHD coach, at some point I learned that one characteristic of ADHD can be a mismatch between achievement and potential for achievement, where IQ might be one measure of such potential.

I have been personally fortunate never to have anyone tell me that I couldn't possibly have ADHD because I was too smart, or had gotten through too much school, despite having made it through a Master's degree, and through some doctoral research, before even knowing what ADHD is. But I have gotten to know people who have, including some of my clients. This has included the particularly nasty cases where a previous diagnosis was dismissed simply because of some success in academics.

I think this notion that IQ or book smarts or whatnot could exclude ADHD is particularly insidious for people who also don't have the obvious target written all over their faces of obvious hyperactivity. The same holds for other with very quiet disabilities (such as learning disabilities). If you are one of these people, take heart that not everyone writes off your struggle. Luckily, there are people, including doctors, who get it, or who even have ADHD themselves and are open about it. And three cheers for folks like those at Yale who use their credentials to make things easier for us.

When My Brain Won't Choose

Today is one of those days when I can't choose which step to take next. This morning I was trying to figure out whether to go to my local coffee shop before or after a midday appointment. (I concentrate really well on some kinds of work in a coffee shop instead of my home office.) The issue, really, is that "figuring out" doesn't always work. I didn't need to figure anything out. I knew the reasons one way and the other, and I also didn't care all that much about it. My head was kind of spinning in tiny circles, thinking through the options. I wasn't worried. I wasn't ruminating. I just couldn't flip that switch. And that unflippable switch is exactly what ADHD is about.

How did I solve it today? I noticed it was happening. I noticed what my mind was doing. I checked in with myself and noticed I was pretty darned tired, physically, and hungry. So I made something to eat, a cup of tea, and put my feet up, and rested for a while.  It's been hard to learn to trust my need to do that- because it means letting go of the decision attempts, the plans for that moment or day, and putting something else (myself) first. But here I am, a few hours later, rested and more able to concentrate, writing at the coffee shop. 

To Do Lists are Overrated.

This afternoon, we're starting our taxes in my house. Because some of my bookkeeping systems floundered in 2008, it got me thinking about various systems I've changed in the past 18 months or so.

I used to use MS Outlook for calendar, contacts, and a to do list. I synched it with a Palm device. This worked for me for years. But late in my pregnancy with my first-born pumpkin, said Palm device decided it was time for frequent non-functioning to set in. I didn't feel like hunting down a replacement then and there. And then I realized that after the wee one was born, I may not be able to follow my own rule for PDA use:
Do not depend on a PDA unless you back it up daily.

Now I realize this rule is somewhat outdated with iPhones and whatnot, or at least the backing up works differently. Point is that small portable devices crash, freeze, die, get lost, etc. And I synched mine with my computer, in my basement office, every day, but didn't really see that being high on my priority list when I was in the massive exhaustion, 18 diapers-a-day beginning of parenthood.

So I gave up the PDA lifestyle and bought myself a paper week-by-week calendar for 2008 at the drugstore for about $3.95. I was going to be taking some time off after the baby anyways, and wouldn't have that many appointments to note.

It worked just fine.

I still miss having a portable, complete list of addresses compiled in one place. I'll work that out.

I got myself a little bit nicer paper calendar for 2009 (this one I ordered online, and accidentally got one a size too small; as long as I use pencil for most appointments, it seems to be fine, too). If I did use something like an iPhone, I'd be happy to use Google Calendar, but this way I don't have to have computer or laptop access to make or check appointments.

I don't keep a to do list anymore.
I don't miss it. I don't forget a lot more than I used to. Outlook was a great place to put a "master to do list," i.e., a place to dump all the tasks stuck in my head so I didn't have to carry them around in my head, and so maybe I could look over them to think about how to use my time. That's actually one of the keys to why it's not a problem for me not to have one right now; my work life is compacted into taking care of clients, and very immediate related stuff, and one or two bonus tasks per week, because I work part-time. When I'm with my son, everything is very immediate and clear what I need to do.

I do write things down:

Occassionally I have written an email with then things I'm meaning to get done. It's not an ongoing thing like it used to be, though it is a list in a very simple place that I can find back. I haven't done that in quite a while quite honestly, though I have emailed some goals to work buddies to help focus my thoughts.

And I write "stubby to do lists." That's where you take a scrap (not too small) of paper and write down the three or so things you need to do right NOW in the next few hours, so you don't forget them when you get distracted. The the scrap can go away. Using a fat marker seems to work well. I think this is helpful because my working or short-term memory gets foggy. It works because I'm NOT trying to prioritize as I do these things, it's just a really short list to keep me on task rather than drifting into space.

So to be fair, I do use to do lists my own way. And I'm not recommending that YOU give them up...if they HELP you. I AM recommending that you use natural opportunities to slash and burn overly complicated systems that aren't necessarily helpful, and see what grows in their stead.

Daycare for Mama

Today is my son's first day at daycare. Up until now, we've had a babysitter who has come to our house while I am working. I am following a friend's wise advice not to expect myself to be all too productive for the first couple of weeks that he's there, because it is apparently usually a bigger adjustment (emotionally) for mama than it is for the peanut. Beyond that, though, one of my concerns is that I won't be as focused or efficient as I was with the sitter and the tot in the house with me.

This thought surprised me. In fact, it surprised our dear former sitter, who said, "what do you mean you won't be able to get as much done even though I won't be chattering away at you and distracting you every time you come upstairs?" Yes, I'd get slightly too caught up in conversations with her when I came up from the basement office to grab a snack or say hi to the little one. And more significantly, if he was crying and I wasn't on a client call I would tend to come up and check on him. I did a middling job of learning to limit the time I took away from my work for a break.

Which I guess we all have to do regardless of what the distraction might be- baby or sitter, co-workers, chores, tetris... or ourselves. That last one is what I am wondering about. Before babe was born, I worked in a quiet house most of the time. There were some things I know I was much more efficient at when I was not alone in the house. I could clean up my office better when my husband was doing the same (or when my assistant was keeping me on task when I had one) for example. I think I've now gone for one of the longest stretches in my career that I have NOT been alone at the house working. But working with a baby and sitter upstairs is different from having a body-double or assistant or just someone working at the same sort of task or in the same room.

Yet having those people in my house helped anchor my attention. That's the ADHD trick. They kept me outside my own internal whirling thoughts, and so, while distracting me, they also rescued me from distraction. INTERNAL, INATTENTIVE-TYPE distraction. So I'm giving myself a couple of weeks, and then I might have to add in some new accommodations for this little mind. We shall see.

Disaster Preparedness

In an earlier post I said that when other people told me I worried too much I used to think they were right, and get, well, worried. And that now I get annoyed instead, which is an improvement. Nowadays I think about it in terms of how I work. As I said in that post, I know I do best when I have a conceptual framework. That means that I have a kind of mental scaffolding for understanding a situation; I know where to put my thoughts if that makes any sense. So when I think about "worry" and "overthinking," nowadays I think of it more in terms of disaster preparedness.

A couple of years ago, when avian flu was bigtime in the news, I had a bunch of conversations with people about preparing for epidemics / pandemics. Would I have the supplies to hunker down and stay safe? What does that involve? Same with Katrina, got us all thinking about what you would do if you had to evacuate suddenly. These are scary things to think about. I noticed that some people (like the one I live with) thinks that it's kind of overkill to be concerned, or to go through a checklist and buy supplies for these kinds of situations. It can be seen as just overactive worrying if you don't live in active earthquake/flood/fire area, for example. But for others of us, getting prepared is something productive and constructive to do with our concerns. It is a way of taking care of ourselves, not by letting anxiety rule us, but by getting our houses in order.

And once that's done, worry is free to subside. In fact for me, I don't even have to carry out a full preparedness plan; merely understanding what it involves and having a tangible sense of those steps allows me to feel more in charge. You could say that the preparedness information is my conceptual framework. If the proverbial -or actual- dam breaks, I'll be mentally ready; so in the meantime I don't have to be concerned, whether or not I'm thinking about it.

A Slowed-down Day

I talk about this more often. On a less spacey day, I'll go back and check what I've said before. It's a spacey day today, and lately my ADHD has been hitting a bit harder than it had been- I think it's a hormone thing, or the stage that my toddler is in at the moment, I'm not sure. Point is, it's not always predictable. My brain's status is not always what I think it would be. Ok, I've grown to NOT rely on it being the same all the time, which is always a big help. That is, assuming some days or moments will be somewhat sucky, makes it easier when that happens.
Ah, but my point?
it's the old flexible structure thing. I'm pretty lucky right now; my son directs my attention a lot of the time, so that I don't need to choose what to focus on, and his needs are fairly immediate and tangible, which is a good ADHD thing. My work time is more limited, so I have to choose pretty quickly what to do- again, this can actually be ADHD-friendly, as long as you let go of all the stuff you think you ought to be doing and keep only a couple things in mind (even if long-term it means we need some desk-cleaning strategies). But I also need some grace. I think grace is how I think of this kind of flexibility.
Lately, on Thursday afternoons, I work on some projects. My client appointments tend to be lumped on other days recently. So I can do follow-up emails and write a blog post, for example. But I may not be able to do as much as I think I can. I may not get down to my office as quickly after the sitter arrives as I would like, even if I've got everything lined up. As long as I've got the grace to just let that be the way it is, that's ok.

As long as I can accept that I DON'T always move in straight lines to get to my desk (or to a task) then I keep myself more at ease, more focused- and I keep the flow of laundry-to-babysitter going (she folds it for us, so she acts as a structure for me to get it in the wash), so I can be less distracted by household stuff (I've done what I'm supposed to right then). And I do get to my work. And the thing is, on a day like today, on a spacey day like today, when I need someone else to tell me whether to eat the eggs or the ham and cheese lest I stand in front of the counter for an hour spacing out and being ambivalent, less work is what was going to happen anyway. But less work is some work, and it's pretty darned good.

Can you relate?