thinkythink

On Reading

and not absorbing.

A client recently asked me if it is an ADHD thing to not absorb stuff while you're reading- in other words to read a whole bunch but then have to keep starting over because you realize you don't know what you just read.

YES this is totally an ADHD thing.

Here's the counterpart:  reading quickly, and absorbing easily, things that interest you right now, the shiny/new stuff as it were.

Typical ADHD thing: newly diagnosed or in process of diagnosis ADHD adult reads a dozen books on ADHD super quickly even though they don't seem to be able to get through books normally (that's hyperfocus, by the way).

Another typical ADHD thing: to find the bits you're interested in of a book, feel like you got the gist of it, and then lose interest, lose focus and then it just sits around.

Classic self-critical thing: to then get down on yourself for "never finishing" a book or "reading a bunch of books at once."

Coach's request/challenge: Accept that this is how you read. Graze to get the bits you want- or really- hunt for the meat you want. It's ok to leave the rest.

Harder challenge: Give yourself permission to put aside books that don't catch your interest enough to pull you through them. Let go of the idea that you "should" finish books-- unless you need to for school/exam/etc (and then I could coach you through the process- that's still no excuse to just keep trying harder and harder and getting upset about it!)

Believe in your own hunter-like reading process. You ARE finding the juicy bits, and maybe you don't WANT the rest.

Look for formats/material that suit you. Try: essays. short stories. poetry. magazines. things you are interested in rather than things you think you should read or things you think you should be interested in.

My current state: sleep-deprived parent of two young children with very few minutes in a row to myself-- I don't really read much at all right now. I read some stuff online. I read science and news magazines with short articles. That's ok. It will change again.

Hyperfocus time (empty time)

What I don't have right now is gobs of unstructured time. This is a good thing, in that I tend to be more on-task, on-point, and generally productive that way. But when I didn't know why I wasn't getting the changes to my website made (migrating it over to a typepad platform so I can then edit it much more easily) I realized this was the missing ingredient.

I loved working on my coaching website when I first put it together- that was more than five years ago. I hacked it together using some (overly) powerful webauthoring/design software, figuring out how to make it work as I went. It was a lovely process, because I really had to think about what kind of look, feel, and content felt right to me. Because the fit between client and coach is key in coaching, this is important. A site that feels like me and how I want to portray myself and my business will tend to attract the people who fit me as a coach better. That is in fact what I found after I put it together.

But how did I do this? Hyperfocus. I delved in and let myself muck about with it for several days. I simply don't have that time with two small children. I have time right now when the toddler is at daycare- and some time when both are cared for- but most of the latter is resolved for actual client appointments. Of the former, my time with just the baby, I can't release my focus into the wilds of a big computer-based project as baby needs me regularly.

What other kinds of projects lend themselves to big blocks of protected time? For me, things like organizing files or cabinets. Or other spaces for that matter. Or computer files or email. Once my mind is in it, I can go for a long time- using my hyperfocus. But to do that I need empty time.